The Rector’s Message for the Week of October 26, 2025
Dear Friends,
What a beautiful funeral liturgy we celebrated for Judy Hancock. I was delighted to see a lot of alumni present in-person, and several moved to the back row of the choir stalls to sing with the gentlemen of the choir at the interment of ashes. Debbie and Lisa had said that they wanted a celebration of Judy’s life and we certainly did that! The music, the flowers, the remembrances, and the powerful liturgy all contributed to weaving a beautiful tapestry of this amazing musician’s life. At the party afterwards (yes, it really was more of a party than a wake) there were so many memories to share. I know that we also had a lot of alumni of the Choir School on-line and we have had so many messages of goodwill.
Celebrating funerals is something that Saint Thomas does very well.
We live in an age when we avoid talking about difficult things, including sickness and death. People still seem surprised that the clergy want to visit them when they are in hospital or in rehab; I guess that is also connected with the New York tradition of never dropping in to see someone at home without warning. We have a large congregation – in-person, on-line, and homebound. Over 50% of our parishioners live outside the State of New York! With thousands regularly connecting with us, we have to rely on people or their families letting us know when there is sickness or someone is in need. Please let us know, even if you do not want a visit, so that we can pray for you, and check if we can help practically.
Linda Morfi is our Social Care Coordinator, and is happy to help in practical ways, and not just our frail seniors. You can always reach out to Linda by emailing her at lmorfi@saintthomaschurch.org. In an emergency, we do have a pastoral care phone. The phone is monitored regularly, but you will have to leave a message and the priest on call or Linda will call you back when they get the message. The number is 917-674-1899.
It is also helpful when parishioners plan their funeral arrangements. Recently, I have sat with two parishioners to plan their funerals; this is not a morbid thing to do at all! As Christians, we mark our rites of passage appropriately, and that includes preparing for our death. At Saint Thomas, we do not avoid talking about such things and that can lead to a true celebration of someone’s life where sadness and joy can co-exist. It was a privilege to plan Judith’s funeral liturgy with the family. We have a memorial planning booklet that is filled with all kinds of helpful and interesting information that really helps a family give their loved-one the ‘send-off’ that they desired; if you would like a copy, please reach out to us and we will mail them to you.
I have had a number of comments about my homily at Judy’s funeral, because (with the encouragement of the family) we did not avoid talking about the effects of Alzheimer’s. A priest who was in the congregation sent this message to us about Judy and the funeral afterwards: “I had the highest regard for her, as a musician and as a woman, and, therefore, I appreciated the multifarious beauty and truth of the funeral service. You created a space for both exquisite music and pastoral care, even to me (my mother and her current husband both lost spouses to Alzheimer’s), and for this I wish to express my gratitude.”
Here is a link to the text of the homily at that service.
I am writing this message in Washington DC where Mo. Turner and I, with a number of parishioners, are attending the annual investiture of the Order of St. John. As you know, Saint Thomas has long supported the work of the Order in providing funds for the St. John Eye Hospital Group in the Holy Land that, until the war between Israel and Hamas, included a state-of-the-art hospital in Gaza City. Our incredibly dedicated doctors and nurse have continued working in Gaza under extreme circumstances, providing medical help to hundreds of displaced Palestinians.
The Order of St. John is one of the orders affiliated with the original order, the Order of Malta. Our friend, Fra. John Dunlap, the Prince and Grand Master of that order, has sent me some pictures and videos of King Charles and Queen Camilla’s historic visit to the Vatican where, for the first time since the Reformation, the Pope and the Monarch prayed side-by-side. The music was led by the Sistine Chapel Choir and the Choir of St. George’s Chapel, Windsor. However, some other remarkable things then happened; the Pope conferred the Vatican’s highest honor on the King and Queen, making King Charles Knight Grand Cross with Collar of the Vatican Order of Pope Pius IX, and Queen Camilla Dame Grand Cross of the same order. The King then conferred on Pope Leo the honor of Knight Grand Cross of the Order of the Bath, which is the order traditionally given to heads of state.
However, most moving was the gathering at the Basilica of St. Paul’s, outside the Walls. I had not realized that, until the Reformation, England had been the protector of that basilica and the Benedictine Community there. The arms of the basilica are surrounded by the symbol of the Order of the Garter. The Pope made history by installing King Charles as a Royal Confrater of the Benedictine Community, and he was installed in a chair in the midst of the community – the chair bearing the Royal armorial bearings and the Latin inscription Ut Unum Sint – words of Jesus from John’s Gospel – that they may be one. In a reciprocal gesture, the King made Pope Leo a Papal Confrater of St. George’s Chapel, Windsor, thus ending 500 years of distrust between the Papacy and the English crown.
We celebrate the Feast of St. Simon and St. Jude, Apostles, this week with a Solemn Eucharist on Tuesday, October 28 at 5:30pm. I always smile when this feast comes round as St. Jude is the patron saint of lost causes but also my wife’s birthday – and she still married me!
Charles McCown’s funeral will be held at the Church of Christ and St. Stephen’s, 120 West 69th Street, on Wednesday, October 29, at 11am. Charles was always at the center of our Seniors’ Lunches and, until he became frail, faithfully attended the daily lunchtime mass.
I look forward to seeing you all on Sunday. Soon it will be November – the month of remembrance. You can find all the details of our special November services here. Please make a note that November 2 will be All Saints’ Sunday and on November 9 we keep Remembrance Sunday. This year, thanks to a generous donation, the Duruflé Requiem at 11am will be accompanied by an orchestra! Please mark your calendars and bring your friends to what will be a very moving celebration. If you wish to have a name inscribed in the Book of Remembrance to be placed on the altar, please send the names to remembrance@saintthomaschurch.org. At the 4pm service, there will be the usual act of remembrance for our war dead, and our preacher will be The Reverend Canon Maurice A. Dyer II, Canon to the Bishop, Armed Forces and Federal Ministries. We will be joined by representatives of the Patriotic and Historical Societies of New York.
With every blessing,
Your Priest and Pastor,
Carl
